During a previous life, I worked at the same company for several years as a programmer, getting steadily promoted and in the end even getting my first management position. I was a decent programmer and all, but the managers that I worked for were among the worst in the company, and when the final straw came and I was told that I was being made redundant, I started to worry. I needed a new job and to be honest, IDN Poker I was pretty scared. I wasn’t ready to leave, but my body language was clear, my performance was down, and when I told my manager what I was doing he did not take it well. The next day I had a meeting with the managing director, who was rather nice and reasonable.
The meeting was all about my performance, but instead of firing me, he decided to send me for a coaching program. As the meetings went on, he would review my notes, which were full of constructive criticism and would be polite with my answers.
The problem was that I wasn’t being constructive at all, and I was either being dishonest or deliberately evasive. I couldn’t admit to anything, because I knew that I was in the wrong. And then, after one too many meetings, I stopped trying to argue my way out and told him to go fuck himself, much to his horror. A few weeks later, I was out of work, but still didn’t know what to do. I had lost my faith in my own work, my own competence, and my own ability to succeed.
In my previous position, I could get away with not showing up for work on the days that I didn’t have anything to do. I wasn’t an employee, IDN Poker but an employee with benefits and such. But now I had to work for a living. At first I was pretty scared. But I had a good friend who had been unemployed for a while and had an idea. He said that he was going to start working as a volunteer at a charity that helped people with mental health problems, and that I should too. I thought about it, and the next day I went to my manager and told him that I was going to volunteer at a charity, and I wanted to know if it was okay with him.